Top Weirdest Fan Entries on Facebook.

Of the many bizarre and pointless things one can do on Facebook, I find declaring oneself as a "fan" of something to be one of the more unsatisfying. (SuperPoking, on the other hand, I acknowledge to be bizarre and pointless, yet oddly fulfilling.)

Fandom on Facebook is a nice promotional tool, but it's a weirdly fallow experience for the fan. Declaring my fanship of something has not yet resulted in any discernible benefits. And look at me, asking for benefits just because I click on "become a fan"! Next I'll be asking for accolades because I brushed my teeth.

But still. Has anyone had a more fulfilling experience as a Facebook Fan? I invite you to comment. Lately, commenting and telling me I am full of shit is in vogue at UncMo.

If you have chosen to become a fan of something on Facebook, why have you done so?

I am a fan of exactly seven things. Here are the seven things and the reason I fanned them.

1. Chill Radio. "What, Christina?" you say. "You seem so easygoing. I'm shocked that you would seek out anything to help you chill." I know! But it's true. This Internet station rules. I became a fan to remind myself to download their podcasts. It didn't work.

2. My employer. Enough said.

3. Crushpad. Work-related, but cool.

4. Lykke Li. She's a Swedish pop singer whom I really, really like. I hoped that in becoming a fan, I would maybe find another friend who likes her, or turn a friend on to her. I don't think either thing happened.

5. Adele. She's a British soul singer whom I really, really like. I hoped that in becoming a fan, I would maybe find another friend who likes her, or turn a friend on to her. I don't think either thing happened.

6 and 7. Gabriel Mann and The Rescues. Gabe is a friend from college who was music director of my singing group and is an extremely talented musician. His band, The Rescues, was recently featured on Grey's Anatomy. I support anything Gabe does, because he kicks ass.

I took a spin through other profiles in my network to see what other people I know have in their fan pages. Nothing too surprising: musicians, schools, politicians, some brands. Movie titles I don't quite get, but I can sort of see how that would be like a TV show or a band, so it sort of makes sense.

But then there are some things that I see and become totally confused as to the point of be-fanning those things. Here's my list of those instances:

1. Charles Darwin: Charles proves his own theory by making it all the way to Facebook. More than 10,000 people have felt compelled to state the equivalent of "Hey, I dig evolution," which makes sense, because hey, it's worked out for us so far.
2. Sushi: This delicious foodstuff beats out Darwin in terms of Facebook popularity with more than 451,000 fans at this time. This number jumped up by about 5,000 in one day. Jeremy Piven, are you among these fans?

OK well, actually, that's all I have for now. If you are a Facebook Friend and you are a fan of one of these two things, I apologize, but I don't understand. Maybe you can enlighten me. In the meantime, I think I will start a fan page for Breathing, or maybe Porn. Neither of these things yet has an altar on Facebook.

Anyone else perplexed by certain Facebook behavior? Maybe you are not on Facebook (JK, PB, HI, DR), in which case I support you in your Lifestyle Choice.

Music: "Little Bit"